It's not particularly surprising when another release crosses my desk from those fine folks at Cheezy Movies, still kinda sorta known as Cheezy Flicks. It's also not particularly surprising when those films that cross my desk kinda sorta, well, suck. After all, they've ended up with an outfit called Cheezy Movies for a reason. 

Such is the case with Convoy of Girls, a 1977 Nazi exploitation flick starring Brigitte Parmentier as the high school sweetheart of one badass Nazi soldier names Captain Erich Von Strasser (Jean-Marie Lemaire), whose exploits are legendary but whose love for his beloved Renata is way deeper. 

Say it with me - awwwwww!

In the film, the Jewish Renata gets herself in a heap of trouble when she and her father are caught illegally hiding a Jewish girl in Berlin. While most of the women captured for such crimes are tortured or killed, Renata is forced to become a prostitute while her father is sent to a concentration camp. Determined to do whatever it takes to save her, Von Strasser uses all of his influence and risks his status with the Third Reich in order to save the women he loves. Nevertheless, despite his sacrifices, after he's put himself out there he learns that she's been put on a convoy train to Russia. 

Sound cheezy?

It is cheezy.

Yes, I know I'm spelling cheezy incorrectly. Just go with it.

While I'm always down for a cheezy flick, Convoy of Girls is bad even by the low-bar standards of most cheezy flicks. Previously released under the name of  East of Berlin, Convoy of Girls is the kind of film where you have the folks who made the film either trying to give up credit for it or simply changing their names. There isn't a decent performance here, with everyone guilty of histrionic over-acting and line delivery that is so sub-par it would be out of place in a Wiseau film. 

The truth is that the whole sub sub sub-genre of Nazi exploitation hasn't been pulled off well very often - Helga, She Wolf of the SS being a noteworthy exception. The films are, almost without fail, cheaply made and unbearable to watch. Cheezy Movies is a wonderful purveyor of movies that are so bad they're good, but once awhile they also release these films that are simply so bad. 

Period.

However, if the Nazi exploitation scene is your thing then Cheezy Movies has served this one up for you and at their usual prices they're the place to shop for movies you don't want to admit you own but you secretly have in mass quantities. For more information, visit the Cheezy Movies website linked to in the credits. 

© Written by Richard Propes
The Independent Critic